The Real Mansa

Creating Cultural Swag In Our Youth

Letting Go

February 4, 2011

As I open my eyes to see another day, listening to my wife saying ” It’s 430am could you help me with lunch and breakfast before I leave for my animal rotation today?  I’m thinking, its cold in our house, the bed is whispering stay with me, and I’m tired from the excitement from last night.  In the moment, I chose to let go and say yes!  My yes to her request allowed me to ignore my thoughts and take action to help despite my morning resistance.  Then my wife leaves for work at 530am, and now I have the priviledge of waking up my two children, who can be little Gremlins in the morning.  My children switch back and forth from Gizmo to Spike as the morning takes shape, they play, laugh and joke then it’s get away from me.  They shout,”your annoying, and you shut up!”  These moments really aggravate me especially to see two adolescents argue like two elderly people at an illegal Bingo tournament.  If I act on my aggravation then it could be a messy violent morning.  My motto is let the emotion come in, do nothing and let the emotion go out.  To act immediately on any emotion is dangerous because emotions distort and kidnap your ability to make rationale choices.  Daddy runs in the room to fix the problem between his children, thinking I’ll put an end to this little argument. One kid says a remark, and I lose it!  Now, I’m yelling, screaming, spitting… raging… only because in the moment I acted on my emotion.  Now, I’ve terrified the kids, their self- worth shattered in to little pieces.  When the anger retreats the shame defeats.  Now shameful thoughts seek to sabotage all my contributions as a father.  My mind puts me in a choke hold and I can’t tap out.  Then, I put on my sour face, scream some more orders and threats then send my children to school bruised and rattled only to face the trials and tribulations of public school!  My advice in any situation that can trigger your anxieties and insecurities is to take no action around the emotion of the situation.  In this external world people say and do all types of stuff that we don’t like.  We get challenged at home with our spouses, significant others, children, co-workers, the news, complete strangers on the highway,etc… Letting go has nothing to do with agreement of behavior.  Letting go empowers you to stay at ease despite any circumstance that you face.  Our emotions constantly change constantly ask yourself ,” How is my mood, emotion right now?” “What am I reacting to?”  “Is it important to take any type of action?”  “Am I hurt right now?”  These simple questions allow you time to get related to your own world before we quickly intrude into another person’s world.  We tend to run to another person’s world to escape our own global catastrophe.  Trust me, the moment that we  become angry and aggravated, sometimes hostile, it’s usually some past situation that hasn’t been resolved looking to cause terror on you and others in the present moment.  All anger is unresolved hurt from the past.  Letting go is taking care of your inner throne.  Letting go is allowing people to make their own choices.  Letting go is making your own choice.  It’s a spiritual practice that takes time.  For example try it with that person that really annoys you.  If they say something, you can choose to relax, take no action, allow the frustration to come in and go out, and choose to respond or just say nothing.  It really works.  When you let go… life flows like Niagra Falls.

Peace…. Don’t Make It Mean Something Just Make It move!

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