Give It Up!

I’m sitting with a group of about 20 professionals waiting for my turn to share a story about  a defining moment in my life.  We only have two minutes to share the story, the impact, and the lesson learned in it all.  I’m feeling slightly nervous as reality screams to me “You didn’t prepare!”  My thoughts pull me away again, as I try to find a way to “wing it” or pull it off.”  My stomach is very tense, and now anxiety starts to taunt me!  I make several desperate attempts to review my story, while people go up in front of the room.  I’m thinking soon I will just go up and get it over with.  My body stands up, and quietly walks in front of the room.  I start talking about my visit with my grandfather who had just been released from prison on a 20 year sentence for murdering my grandmother.  The story just feels weak.  My words seem small and insignificant.  I’m sweating.  I’m uncomfortable.  I’m struggling to remember certain parts of the story, and I feel miserable.  The person who keeps track of time says “time is up.” I fumble, and mumble through to the end, then I go sit down.  One person was selected from each group to share their amazing story in front of 250 professionals.  The top three would receive prizes.  So I’m in my seat listening to each finalist share.  I’m hearing amazing stories of forgiveness, triumph, resilience, courage, etc.. The audience gives thunderous applause, and standing ovations after each vivid share.  My body feels very tight, and I’m really sad.  A bystander watching life pass me by.  The starting point guard who had to miss the big game because of ineligibility!  The actor who missed out on the roll of a lifetime because he did not care to prepare in advance.   The friend who sat in the audience, while his classmates graduated from high school.  A close friend of mine took first prize.  His story rocked the whole room!  He was real.  He was authentic.  His story reached off the stage into our hearts.  He moved, touched, and inspired us all.  “What do I need to give up?”  I asked myself.  What am I holding on to?  Something is holding me back!  Something is missing from my life!  People see me bigger than I see myself.  I did not prepare for a huge opportunity in my life?  Why?  My past tells me that I got it handled!  I don’t need anybody!  Well, now I got nothing.  I was told by the head coach of the program that there is a difference between a bold leader, and a charismatic person.  I fit the description of a charismatic person. Actors, athletes, and politicians are charismatic.  Mahatma Gandhi, Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, and Muhammad Ali are bold leaders.  What will I need to give up to take on bold leadership in my life?  Life is always about letting go of something.  I’m ready for the next stage of development and growth in my life.  I’m giving up this I got it handled foolishness!  I’m giving up this I don’t need this script in my life.  What’s missing in my life is the capacity to be alive, and fully present in each moment.  What’s missing is freedom, and power through preparation and hard work.  I surrender to loving me.  Leadership starts with a personal realization of what it takes to lead.  Leaders confront themselves constantly..  Leaders can be with themselves and accept reality.  Leaders never take life too seriously!

Don’t Make It Mean Something Just Make It Move!